In the next 23 days, all breathing human beings will enter a place of commonality. That would be, living through 525,948,766 minutes, 8,765.81 hours, 365 days, 52 weeks and 12 months making up a full year, now behold a new year will appear to do it all over again.
Sure, positive reflections will occupy our minds as we think back, however, how shall we think or what do we do with the hurt, the disappointment, the loss, the pain, the discouragement, and the sadness before we go into the New Year? Let us be honest, we all know nothing runs perfectly, not the weather, not our jobs, not our relationships, not even this past year.
I know this is the holiday season and maybe the expectation is sharing something that makes us feel jolly. However, in order to not repeat what doesn’t work for next year I encourage being thoughtful of your challenges from this year, whether with employees or employers, love relationships, parenting children or just significant connections. As a psychotherapist these many years, I know the importance of being intentional on working on our woundedness from relationships and as you process through don’t let your past interfere with your future. Ask yourself this question, “what am I going to enter the New Year with? How can I be set free from my past to enter my new future? Here are three (3) recommendations on what to absolutely bring into the New Year to set yourself free.
- BRING FORGIVENESS: Before you enter the New Year, release people that have hurt you. In other words, experience one of the most powerful things you can do and that is to forgive. Not forgiving is drinking the poison of bitterness, which kills you. We all have hurt others others have hurt you. Forgiveness will set you free.
- BRING COMPASSION: Before you enter the New Year, allow yourself to feel understanding and care for those that disappointed you. Yes, this is a mighty tall order but what a selfless act to model. The Dalai Lama said, “Our prime purpose in life is to help others. If you can’t help them at least don’t hurt them.” Know that hurt people do hurt people. Compassion will set you free.
- BRING A LETTING GO MINDSET: Before you enter the New Year make an assessment of the letdowns you continue to replay in your brain and let them go. Express the pain and move toward the healing power of letting go or it will only control you and that’s a set-up for missing out on what’s next. Letting go is not a gift to those who hurt us but to ourselves. Let go, it will set you free.
Have a Happy Holiday and be free for a liberating New Year!
Carl Casanova, M.S.